f l o o d

and i don't need any sermons on obedience and perseverence, so save 'em.

Parents...

You can't live with them... and you can't pick them up, shake them, and scream "WHY!!!!!"

Because you know they'll give you an answer that defies all logic.

I have the same... well, similar issues with my mom. For me, it's that she has problems dealing with the fact that I'm growing up, which I guess it's natural. ...and you're not getting an obedience talk from me, cuz geez, I'm not one to talk. Funny you think your friends are going to give you lectures on obedience, because mine are telling me to stop caring so much what she wants and thinks. I got the "you're almost 21 and out of the house" talk from a friend of mine; Sure, he's 26 and not Asian... but it made sense.
Maybe you just need to get away...

i just don't understand why my dad can't give up any degree of control. at 20 years old shouldn't i have the ablility to say, "ok, i understand your reasoning, but i'm CHOOSING not to do this." don't i have that right? especially when it comes to something as personal as my own body?

maybe i do need to get away, but the last time i did, things didn't go so well. i said in my last post being home and having brothers and sisters around me is good for me, but being in this house still has more power to hold me down than the church does to lift me up.

You should get a job at a record store. No hair cut required. In fact, your hair may not be long enough, and no tatoos or piercings, hmm. It could pose a problem, but it's worth a shot. I'll tell ya I had a blast working for the wherehouse music. You could always just shave your head, that'll show him.

Your dad sounds like he's stereotypical Asian parent, to an extreme. I'm sure he means well though...
Don't you ever feel tied down? and frustrated as a result? How do you put up with that... hm. I love my parents, as I'm sure you do yours, but I think it's sad, how when I'd go home on weekend and my mom can't even wait a day before she finds to nag me about... =/

I think you're hair is niiiice too, and those librarians ought to know not to judge a book by its cover!

HAHAHA Leon that was classic. Hahahahahaha... that's our Leon.

Dude this blog is like THE hot spot. Look at all these comments.

yeah, but half the comments posted are by me

I'm not sure what your hair looks like, but when I worked in the San Jose Public Library system for a year I saw several people who got jobs with died hair and the like, so I think you'll be ok.

So one vote for ignoring your dad.

well, what can i say ben? i know how dad can get over the most trivial and random of things. and objectively speaking (or as objectively as i can get), i guess it's all about the ol' "when you're living under my roof..." mantra. it's like, no matter how old you are, as long as you are living with your parents, your rights will be limited to your parent's rules and personalities. do i change my social habits and the like when i go home? heck yeah. maybe that's why you always think i have no social life. but my point is, i don't think this type of thing is about age or maturity level. it's about whose house you're living in and who the head of the household is. if you weren't living with them, grew your hair out, got a job interview, and then got the job, then they'd be ok because (a) they wouldn't be there enough to nag you and (b) you got the job regardless. but you are living with them and nagging comes along with the territory.... all we can do is try to carry/bear those naggings with every bit of love we can muster through our gritted teeth.

now the subjective part. i think i have to side with both sides. =p for you, i think you should be able to make decisions concerning your own body (in a way that is socially responsible, meaning it doesn't cause someone else to stumble). for dad, my preference (the key word here) is that all guys have short hair. so i'm not defending dad for his irrational outbursts, but i have the same preference as he. and i'm not going to say "it's just hair" because i was miserable with chin-length hair... so i'll say "hair always grows back." but you make the decision, ben. for your own sake, make a decision where you won't end up feeling bitter or constantly at odds with dad. (it's not impossible i tells you!)

btw, when is your interview?

Ben, how long is your hair anyway!? ...

oh, not that long. it doesn't even reach my knees yet.

nah...it's probably not much longer than when you last saw it. it's just kinda shaggy, which is the way i like it. it's not so much the length that bothers my parents (though it does bother them somewhat), it's the fairly unkempt style. they don't undertand that this is how i want it to look. my mom says she doesn't mind me having long hair, she just wants me to get it styled and trimmed a bit, but i don't want to look like an asian pop star! i keep it this way for myself, not for anyone else. anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my big toe.

well since you've been wearing sandals alot your toes are nice and fresh but i ain't up to kissing any of your toe-jammed infested appendages. what you do need is a good "hair-sytlist"!! beauty shops are not just for women you know and if hair is going to be an issue well, you have to pay for it! if your going to keep your hair long, you need to take care of it..no more cheap shampoos, you need a conditioner! (a light conditioner for you, your hair is thick already) longer hair tends to break off easier and requires more maintenance. that's my 2 cents from a daughter of a beautician! (had to work at my mom's shop for a many years so..hey, i even know how to do a deep conditioning for hair! but i draw the line at bikini waxes!!)

personally, i love your hair! i pray you and your dad can move past this.

thanks marie. my dad seems fine now. he was a bit sulky for a couple of days, but we're getting along again now.

he's mood-swingy like that.

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