i'm not in a studying mood tonight, so i've been wasting time reading quotes at imdb, and i just can't stop laughing at this:
Peter Griffin : I'm looking for some toilet training books.
Salesman : We have the popular 'everybody poops', or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'.
Peter Griffin : Well, you see, we're catholic...
Salesman : Ah, then you'll want 'you're a naughty, naughty boy, and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.
here are some other good ones:
[Riding a circus elephant]
Peter Griffin : Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change.
_________________________
Peter Griffin : Brian, there's a message in my Alpha Bits. It says "OOOOOO".
Brian Griffin : Peter, those are Cheerios.
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Lois Griffin : What's going on?
Stewie Griffin : We're playing house.
Lois Griffin : The boy is all tied up.
Stewie Griffin : Roman Polanski's house.
_________________________
Peter Griffin : Now, I know you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man.
_________________________
Napoleon Dynamite : Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills...
_________________________
Sam : Hey, I recognize you.
Andrew Largeman : Ooooo, from Columbia High?
Sam : No not from high school, from T.V. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
Andrew Largeman : Yea.
Sam : Are You really retarded?
Andrew Largeman : No
Sam : Oooo, great job man I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!
_________________________
Andrew Largeman : You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam : I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman : You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
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Sam : I haven't even lied in like, the past two days.
Andrew Largeman : Is that true?
Sam : No.
_________________________
Andrew Largeman : Do you lie a lot?
Sam : What do you consider a lot?
Andrew Largeman : Enough for people to call you a liar.
Sam : People call me lots of things...
Andrew Largeman : Is one of them liar?