i'm feeling a bit down. don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things about biola that i love, and i've met some cool people, but i'm starting to tire of all this socializing stuff. they've kept us pretty busy with orientation and social events, and i'm cool with meeting people and all that, but it's really wearing me down. i'm not good at this stuff and it really doesn't come easily to me. it takes a lot of effort on my part to talk to people i don't know and i often feel like i'm pretending to be someone i'm not to get through it all. like i'm an actor playing a part and it's not really me in this situation, it's some character i'm playing. today we had a big hang out thing for the transfers, and i wound up there not really knowing anybody. i'm ok one-on-one or in a small group, but when i'm in a large group of people and i don't know anyone, i just don't know how to handle myself. luckily, my parents, shirley, and kyle came down that afternoon so i had an excuse to skip out early. i'm also a little dissapointed in the fact that a lot of the students here don't seem to be very serious spiritually. i know that's to be expected as people come from different social and spiritual backgrounds, but it's a little sad when so many people at this great christian school don't seem all that much different from the people i've met at the secular schools i've been to. i guess i can't really make these judgments since i haven't known any of these people for very long, but i'm starting to feel very tired. and when i'm tired i'm moody and anti-social. hopefully things will settle down soon and i'll meet some people that i'm really comfortable with. it's just tough for me. i'm such a social retard when i'm not around people i'm comfortable with.
on a brighter note, it seems every sunday night they have worship service here on campus which they call singspiration, or "singspo" for short. i went tonight, and even though i was by myself in a room full of strangers, i totally got into it. i think i was the only one jumping around and dancing there, but it was great. i may be socially inept, but in worship i truly find myself. i think i'm gonna like being at a place where there's a rockin' worship night every week.
the hour of my departure is swiftly approaching, and while i'm excited at moving on to this new phase of my life, i'm also anxious. since i was accepted so late i feel really unprepared. all the info i need has just been trickling in over the last few weeks and there's still so much i don't know. i suppose i'll have to figure everything out once i get down there. one thing that really has me afraid: i was looking at the biola traditions page on the biola website, and it seems as if half their activities have to do with dating. for example, "betty ask bob," where "male students wear a stuffed animal on their body which the female students, the 'Bettys', attempt to steal in hopes to make that special guy their 'Bob' for the rest of the weekly events" and "'get your roommate a date'...this casual dating encounter is a highlight for almost every student."
i'm scared.
i suppose this is to be expected with all these young people in an environment where the girls outnumber the boys by a 2:1 ratio but still...creepy.
well, goodbye and God bless to all of you. stay tuned to this blog for uh...semi-annual updates on my life. who knows, maybe once school starts i'll be inspired to rant again. posting about myself is so boring. i need to stir up some controversy. catch you on the flip side.
my ipod arrived today. it's so sexy. i'd say it ups my sexiness quotient by quite a few points. maybe not as much as a hot accent, but more than say, athletic ability. sweet.
done with classes for the summer. it's a good feeling.
what sucks is that now that i'm finally free and can have a real summer, everyone's gone. mexico mission team has already left, mongolia team is leaving friday. and by the time the mongolia team gets back, i'll be on my way down to biola. i'm finally free, and there's no one to play with. i really hope i get to hang out with people a bit before i go. i don't want to spend my last few weeks up here just sitting around.
naziriteSOG: im joining the ranks of cocky, cooler-than-thou, pseudo-hip apple product owners
naziriteSOG: my ipod has shipped and is on its way =)
taszabo: cool dude
taszabo: Now all you have to do is get a Mac
naziriteSOG: hah
naziriteSOG: no
taszabo: well it was worth a try
naziriteSOG: no, i really do like apples products
naziriteSOG: but i hate their business plan
naziriteSOG: their whole strategy is designed so that you have to replace everything you buy after a few years
naziriteSOG: thats why i was so reluctant to get an ipod
naziriteSOG: its a great piece of gear, but the battery dies after 2 years, and you could replace it for $100, but why not just get a new one since they come out with a newer cooler model every year?
taszabo: true
naziriteSOG: and they catch you in this cycle of cool, but non-upgradeable, products
naziriteSOG: and to stay hip you gotta keep buying
naziriteSOG: its like drugs
naziriteSOG: steve jobs is a crack dealer!
taszabo: yup it's the American Way
taszabo: WE NEED STUFF
naziriteSOG: indeed
taszabo: buy buy buy
naziriteSOG: i like stuff
naziriteSOG: but its hard to buy when youre a college student with no income
taszabo: true.....charge charge charge
naziriteSOG: haha
naziriteSOG: now THATS the american way
naziriteSOG: if youre not up to your ears in debt, youre unpatriotic
taszabo: amen brother
taszabo: hahaha